Answer, nothing. At Yale, apparently all they teach is analogies and inaccurate statements. I know it's only a school newspaper, so perhaps some will not hold them to the high standards of regular newspapers, but when I see an article titled "Just call them the Atlanta Cowards," I'm obliged to read it. Here are some of the author's many analogies:
The Braves in the 1990s were like the Backstreet Boys: They just kept coming up with big hits. But now, again like the Backstreet Boys, they only make headlines when they screw up.
Schuerholz consistently fleeced the league like Yale dining halls rob Yale’s visitors.
Trading Teixeira for Kotchman is like trading your Babe Ruth rookie card for three Pogs and a Meowth Pokémon card.
And my fave:
Wren is like a bachelor who went to Vegas looking for a wife. He sold his house and bought a two million dollar ring to land that chick he met the night before. Sure, he found a wife. But he could have found a better one, or at least paid less for the one he got. And now he has no house and a wife with a gambling problem.
It's amazing that a story like this went to print in any form. I would expect it from some rival blog, but from an Ivy League newspaper. The astounding degree of inaccuracy this article is laced with leads me to believe that the author really doesn't know much sports or the Atlanta Braves, he just had some good ideas for what he thought were quirky analogies and he tried to force some story to support those analogies (and promptly failed at both).
I won't go into detail regarding all of the problems, if Collin Gutman were to actually do some research he would find out rather quickly where his errors are. After reading this rubbish I can only assume he's a legacy and there's a wing of some building on the Yale campus named after his grandfather.
0 recs | 30 comments
If the Yale newspaper thinks Braves fans give a crap about what they think about our team, they’re delusional.
Also, no one goes to Vegas looking for a wife. Wtf is that?
VegasAces - December 4, 2008
True, but if you’re not careful you’ll have one too many white wine spritzers and end up with a second one.
Smoltz's Beard - December 4, 2008
It reminds me of back when i was at UGA and some dude went to a PETA rally and then got an article published in the Red and Black condemning the horrific practices of dairy farms and made a complete ass out of himself by putting in “facts” that were completely wrong. I mean not even close to anything true. So the moral of the story is not to take anything written in a college newspaper to heart, since its mostly students trying to make an impact and be noticed. Or Terence Moore for that matter.
10-4 - December 4, 2008
+1
For the T. Moore reference. I won’t even talk about his latest article.
gondeee - December 4, 2008
Yeah
I gotta give a +1 for that too.
VegasAces - December 4, 2008
Where to begin?
An “article” that comprises of nothing but analogies is the mark of a weak writer. At least explain them in some detail more than twelve words before you make them.
• Justification to why Javier Vasquez sucks? W-L record, ERA.
• We traded away Jo-Jo Reyes? Not to mention he only brought up Jo-Jo, who wasn’t traded, as well as Lillibridge, but not the other names because he probably didn’t know who was actually involved.
• Suggesting Jamie Moyer would’ve been a better acquisition? If we sign all the fogies, the combined age of Smoltz, Glavine, and Moyer is 128. Kazmir, Shields, Garza and Sonnanstine are a combine age of 99.
• Minus Fail for all the Pokémon card references.
• Ain’t nothing wrong with Vegas marriages. I think I’ve got like three ex-wives now.
Out of curiosity, I read some of his other articles. They all have interesting enough topics that I’d be interested in, but his actual writing is full of so much redundant negativity, and blatant attempts to go against the grain deliberately to get a rise out of someone. For Pujols’ sake, he admonishes Tim Duncan for being a charitable individuals and playing basketball fundamentally perfect. WTF is wrong with people?
royhobbs - December 4, 2008
All good finds, but the thing that stood out the most to me was when he said we dominated and did not outspend other teams. That’s just plain wrong. For many years in the 90’s the Braves had one of the top-five payrolls in baseball.
gondeee - December 4, 2008
"blatant attempts to go against the grain deliberately to get a rise out of someone. "
Sounds like….oh, a good portion of today’s media. This guy might have a career after all.
VegasAces - December 4, 2008
If this were a professional publication, I would have written the editor.
And VegasAce, not only does this guy have a career, he probably has a corner office waiting for him at some major publication.
JFP - December 4, 2008
You’re probably right…and I’d be willing to bet that has a little something to do with his grandfather, as well.
VegasAces - December 4, 2008
the dude’s a douche….simple as that.
jwrocks - December 4, 2008
I second that
palioc33 - December 4, 2008
anybody else try to leave a comment or email this guy? TC should flood his column…..
penno - December 4, 2008
I did...
…and surprise, surprise it hasn’t been posted. I guess you should just call them “The Yale Cowards”
Rafael Belliard's SLG % - December 4, 2008
I wasted enough time just reading the damn article, so in my efforts to become more efficient at work, I decided not to post.
JFP - December 4, 2008
Uhhhmmm...
I thought people at Yale were supposed to be smart? He obviously doesn’t know how baseball works…he should stick to Pokemon…
A49erFan77 - December 4, 2008
Heh, the article made me laugh a bit. Although I don’t think its with the author I’m laughing.
soup du jour - December 4, 2008
Offensive
I also posted a comment. I guess it is “under review by the Yale Daily News staff”. I like this quote: “his organization lacks top prospects like Jo-Jo Reyes because he traded them away” I was unaware that A) we don’t have any top prospects B) we traded Jo-Jo Reyes and C) that Jo-Jo Reyes was our last top prospect. Also he repeatedly spells Javier Vazquez’s name wrong.
garriscp - December 4, 2008
Really, don't take any of this too seriously
This guy went to Yale. As a Connecticut native who went to a nearby and equally prestigious institution (Wesleyan University), I have come to know students like this rather well. My guess is that, whether his father is the reason he is at Yale or not, he very likely comes from a wealthy Manhattan family. In other words Mets/Yankees territory. It shouldn’t surprise you that he likes to rip on the Braves and doesn’t understand advanced metrics.
He will find some job as a NY media Sportswriter like Bob Klapisch. By the way, Did anybody read his (Klapisch’s) writeup on the Braves for ESPN? Worst ESPN article. Ever. He managed to screw up the Phillies off-season outlook as well. No surprise he works for the NY media and didn’t screw up anything in the Mets off-season outlook. For every other NL East team he didn’t get basic facts right. How that clown has a job as a journalist in a main-stream newspaper is absolutely beyond comprehension. Even worse, I saw that ESPN hired him to write another article about the Pedro ERA in NY, another gem of irresponsible and unintelligent journalism. To add insult to injury, the jackass is a member of the Baseball Writers association. Yeah, he has been able to vote for who gets into the Hall since 1983…does anybody still wonder why Murphy hasn’t made it to the Hall yet?
Andy Braves Fan - December 4, 2008
Gutman sounds like a fatty.
beeniez - December 4, 2008
Check it out...
the comments are posted now. Good job, everybody!
sddbaker - December 4, 2008
Those comments made my day. I should have sent him one of my own…
Smoltz's Beard - December 4, 2008
Just hopped over and read them…think he gets the point after all that?
Wait…probably not.
VegasAces - December 5, 2008
Well done!
10-4 - December 5, 2008
I go to UD and I friended him on facebook so that I can yell at him
How terribly incorrect this article is made my head hurt.
spahn57 - December 5, 2008
i’m sure you guys are making him think so much more of braves fans. good work sending our reputation down shit creek.
bigjoe - December 5, 2008
I don’t think anyone posted anything out of line, just pointed out the errors in the article. I’m kind of surprised to hear you take this position… it’s not like you usually tolerate fools very well yourself. Are you turning over a new leaf?
sddbaker - December 6, 2008
huuuuuuuuuge difference between trolling suckas on a message board read by the same gang of people, and trolling some dude on a national spotlight who you’ve never heard of before this article, and will never hear from again
bigjoe - December 6, 2008
I would agree...
…if he was being trolled, but like you said, there is a difference between a message board and a newspaper. If you present yourself as a journalist, you should be held to a higher standard than the average joe posting on a message board, and should expect to be corrected if you make stupid factual errors. I don’t think anyone was too rough on him, but I can see how you could see it differently.
sddbaker - December 6, 2008
He said that JoJo was one of our top prospects. He deserves to be burned at the stake for that.
Smoltz's Beard - December 8, 2008
You must Login with your SB Nation account and be a member of Talking Chop to post a comment.